can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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