But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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