this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
