Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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