ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
