yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
