I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
