My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize