singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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