So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
