youre lurking in front of me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
