Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
