I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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