i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
