I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
