Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
