One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
