I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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