17 year olds will be the death of me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
