you would pick up someone in the library
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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