Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
