My nipple is on Facebook.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Drake has all the answers
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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