Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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