why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
