Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
