If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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