K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
