R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
