i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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