I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
