We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
