bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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