Barsexuality is the new black.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
