honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
