Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im holly from the hills drunk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
