i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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