Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
