He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
