This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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