For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
