I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
