bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
