Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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