Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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