This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize