i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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