when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
