New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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