i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
