just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My bed smells like the plague
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