Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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