ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
last night I used snow as a chaser
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize