Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
