Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
