May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
