i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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