i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
