We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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