please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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