I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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