omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
