the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
