I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
