It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
