At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
