cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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