it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
