New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
