Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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